i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
