i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
