I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This toilet bowl is my home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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