I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
