i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
