New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the raccoons are back...
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