I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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