You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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