I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
