Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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