He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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