it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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