If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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