O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
soo... how was my night?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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