so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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