Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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