Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
