You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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