Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
