I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
