I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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