butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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