just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
