there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
