ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
