Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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