Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
