But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
