I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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