Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
