sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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