She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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