shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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