it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
