Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
