i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He did a backflip because drugs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
