Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
