I'm drive I can fine osifer
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
did you just send me my own nude
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
