She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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