i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was confusing and full of hummus
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
