wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
