R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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