this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
