Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
