i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
