is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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