what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
