I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
