My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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