"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
