And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
